Wednesday, May 12, 2010

PSD Diary for second pregnancy - to be updated regularly

(Please scroll down for most updated record)

This is a record for my current pregnancy, for my second baby.

At 17 weeks I started to feel my pelvis was falling apart. I felt all the ligaments started to loosen, including my pubic symphysis. Not really any pain but just the feeling was scary.

At 18 weeks I went to see my physio Sue, who I saw after I had my DD1 at the hospital. She suggested belts, and very gentle exercised in bed, including pelvic tilting, drawing in my belly button to strengthen my tummy muscles. She said this might help strengthen the area so less pressure on the ligaments. She said there’s not much we can do and I will end up on a walker. I mentioned crutches but she said it’s not as good as a walker.

I mentioned that the normal maternity belt was too hard and it presses my growing tummy which made me feel uncomfortable. Sue said they were gonna get some softer ones later and asked me to call a few weeks later to come and try them. I showed her the elastic tube that was given to me last time and said this one is softer and better than the maternity belt. She said this one will do. So I continued wearing this elastic tube when I know I would be walking or standing for some time. Lying in bed or sitting are not good positions to wear it either because I bend my pelvis area and the tube can still press my tummy.

At about 20 weeks I suddenly felt my pelvis was getting a lot better. It seemed that everything held back again. It wasn’t perfect, but good enough to get rid of the belt.

I was thinking one of the reasons might be that I changed my mattress. I remember last time when I had PSD I hated lying on a hard mattress because it made it easy for all the bones to move and crack apart. This time after I felt my pelvis was getting worse I felt the mattress made it worse again. So I changed to a softer mattress and started to feel better.

I think the other reason might be hormone changes, only because my morning sickness settled a lot at the same time, and my hayfever settled a bit at the same time too. Well all these annoying symptoms settle at the same time, you can’t help thinking it’s because of the hormones.

Now at 21 weeks, I’m ok. No obvious pain, pelvis still ok, just a bit more back pain, which I guess is due to bigger belly.

100520: now at 22 weeks, I'm still ok. No pain, nothing from pubic symphysis. Only problems is for a few times when standing up and walking I feel the clicking of my spine bones at lower back which is a bit scary but not too much worrying. I can't walk very fast, otherwise get tired easily. If I walk or stand for along time I tend to have back pain. Other than that everything is manageable.

100603: now at 24 weeks, I'm still ok. Not much to update from last entry.

100608: now at 25 weeks. From yesterday I started feeling like there's a palm sized wooden board stuck in my lower back which makes walking a bit more uncomfortable. And the clicking feeling when walking is worse. It doesn't feel like two bones are rubbing each other. It feels like more bones are rubbing now. But there's no pain caused, just discomfort. And I still have my normal back pain which is managable, a lot less than last pregnancy.

So I called Sue, my physio today. She said it should be the same problem. The pubic symphysis is connected with the back of my pelvis and if one part is not stable, unstability could happen to other parts too. So she suggested I restart wearing the belt.

100610: Now end of 25 weeks. Lower back clicking and stiffing is getting worse. Pelvis starts to feel scattered again. Walking is more and more difficult. Very light weight carrying (bag and lunch box) can make me feel a lot of pressure on pelvis which affects my walking. Climbing the hill out of the station to my car becomes more and more impossible. Lower back and whole pelvis can become painful and strained and I have to sit down sometimes. I started using the MPS in my car yesterday because I felt desperate every day when climbing the hill. Now I use the card to park a little bit closer to the station so I can climb less of the hill. I've gained about 7kgs so far.

100616: tomorrow will be 26 weeks. Things deteriorated a lot last week. I couldn’t work on Friday due to difficulties walking. It was even very difficult to walk around in the house. It’s difficult to stand too. I’ve started to wear the elastic tube, in two layers. I used to wear it in four layers to be more tight but being afraid of pressing my big tummy I’m wearing two layers. It still puts pressure on tummy but not as bad as four layers. It seems to work a tiny bit. It’s a tiny bit better to wear the maternity belt because the belt is tighter, but it puts more threat on my tummy when sitting down.

No matter whether I wear anything or not, I still can’t stand for long (I mean even more than 1 minute I’ll feel lower back is very very tired and sore), can’t walk for long. The worst is the hills. I have to walk between my car and the station and no matter where I park, even using my MPS, there’re always hills involved.

I can’t walk fast. I have to walk very slowly, and in small steps.

More problems present at the back of the pelvis. The front is not as obvious as the back, although sometimes the pubic symphysis can feel some pain. The bones at the back of the pelvis seem to be falling apart. The middle part, most likely the spine, clicks and rubs when moving. I have to walk in a very wobbly way, trying to minimize the rubbing of the bones. It’s very easy to feel sore and pain, when walking up the hills, even small hills; when climbing stairs, when standing for a little bit longer.

Prolapse is coming back. I can feel it with my fingers when taking the shower. I can feel something seems to get stuck in my vagina, making it full. It’s trying to pop out. I’ve been trying to do pelvic floor exercises all the time. But it doesn’t seem to work much.

I’ve got my crutches out. I’m thinking of using them when needed.

Nausea seems to want to come back too. It’s not too bad, just occasionally. If I eat something it can easily go away. So I’m thinking if it’s the hormone changes that makes everything worse again.

100618: today seems to be a little bit better. bones clicking thing is minimum. back pain is minimum as long as don't walk for long. now i only do essential walks like between car and station, between seat and toilet etc. any other walks are limited to minimum, unless i feel i need them due to constipation. i find recently constipation is very normal.....my diet has already got mostly veggies and fruits and not much meat....

100622: now at 27 weeks.

I find resting has helped with my pelvis in the last few days. I find if I lay in bed for ¾ of a day (like 18 out of 24 hours), I could feel much better the next day. My pelvis seems to be more stable, less rubbing of bones, less pain. If I keep moving around during the day I would get worse. I’ll continue monitor this pattern.

Belt/elastic tube hasn’t helped much. It CAN help a little bit when I move around by help holding my pelvis together a little bit better, but it’s just too much trouble to put it on and take it off coz I don’t really move around much every day. The trouble can even outweigh the relief it provides. Sometimes I get more pain from getting on and off the belt/elastic tube.

My prolapse (or the like) has shown up again and I can feel it getting worse every day. It’s one of the reasons I want to stay in bed as much as possible. I think all the weight from inside my tummy has pushed it down and now I can see the bulk at the opening of my virgina. It’s trying to come out. I keep doing pelvic floor exercises but it doesn’t seem to keep up with the speed of it getting worse. I just hope it doesn’t come out before the baby is born. After the baby is born I’ll stay in bed and try to hold everything back. I’m hoping to have a strict bed rest for 1 month this time round to see if I can recover from all the legacy problems.

100701 I'm now 28 weeks.

Things are better than expected. During the last week my pelvis has been doing well. The crackings and pains are minimum, although still feel I need to be very careful when walking. I guess the bed rest I had for 4-5 days last week due to my headaches had helped. And prolapse has made me trying to minimize walking and standing too.

100712 I'm now in week 30.

Everything is still quite stable. It doesn't mean it's all good. It means everything can still be under control.

The thing that worries me most now is the prolapse. I try to sit down and lie down whenever possible to stop/delay it. I know it's prolapse and I don't really need to get a diagnose. I believe by the time a doctor confirms it's a prolapse it would be too late. And really, all they can say is 'there's nothing we can do'.

I saw some information about prolapse. It seems that having more children and start working too early and lifting cause prolapse. So I'm gonna be careful about all these things. Having a third child may not be possible so I don't worry about having more children. Then I decide to have really good rest after having this baby. Then I'll try to lift less in the future.

I also saw a video about a surgery of a 3rd degree prolapse. It's terrifying. I decide to try everything I can not to have 3rd degree so that I never need a surgery. It's just terrible.

Other than prolapse, my pelvis is holding ok. Lying in bed too much make it lose too so I need to balance activities and resting all the time. Back pain is ok too. Driving for too long makes it worse so I decided to still take the train at the moment and maybe try driving to work after the ticket runs out after end of this month. If driving makes back pain too bad I'll buy train ticket again.

There're so many things to balance right now.

100722 week 31 done

I'm still going strong.

Still trying to limit movements to minimum and most of the time I would be sitting or lying down.

Back pain is minimum. Lying in bed sometimes has more back pain.

Pelvis is loosen, unavoidably, especially when rolling in bed I can feel bones moving and rubbing, quite scary. But sleeping in one position is hard so I have to roll very often. I just hope the bones won't get injured during the next 2 months.

I'm still cooking, while sitting. Other than that I can still do some simple house work like filing, sorting out clothes etc as long as I don't have to stand or walk much.

I'm quite positive I can work longer than during last pregnancy. So I'm planning to take part time leave (1-2-3-4 days a week) from second week of august, 9/8/10 for about 5 weeks and start mat leave 2 weeks before due date. I feel I can even probably work till due date....

100728 tomorrow week 32

Pelvis has become very bad since last week. It's been about week now. It's terribly painful to roll in bed. I have to hold my pelvis using my hands to ensure the bones don't fall apart. The bones rub each other vigorously when rolling in bed and the pelvis and thighs can be very very painful. It's also hard to get up from bed. It can be very painful to get up and I'll have to hold onto something to stand for a few seconds to put everything in place before I take my first step. The first few steps after getting up from bed can be painful and difficult. Then everything goes back to where it should be and walking can become easier.

100805 today 33 weeks

The pelvis has been very unstable when in bed. Now sitting is almost the only preferred position every day.

Walking is kept minimum, even less than before as I started driving to work this week so I don't have to walk to the station.

Rolling in bed at night is the scariest and most painful. The bones in my pelvis seem to have shattered into pieces and I have to hold my pelvis and move really slowly to minimize rubbing of bones/bones falling off/pain. I now wear the elastic band to help hold my pelvis together when in bed. It helps a bit as it tightens the pelvis and makes less room for the bones to play around. My spine seems to have difficulties supporting everything when in bed so lower back is even more painful when in lying position than in other positions. I have to change positions in bed frequently to manage the pain. The other night I had to get up to take Panadol because other wise I can't get to sleep.

When getting up from bed I have to hold my pelvis. When standing up from bed I can't move for a few seconds. I have to wait for a while for bones to go back to where they should be and it's normally difficult and painful for the first few steps as my legs (joints of leg and pelvis) don't seem to have prepared to support my body weight. If I start walking too soon it'll be painful and impossible to walk.

Driving to work makes my lower back more painful. But I don't seem to have much choice here. I can't walk much which leaves driving to work the only option. I've planned to take days off every week so my lower back and spine can have some rest from the driving so I don't have to have too much pain. From next week I'll work every other day to manage the pain.

Saw a midwife last Thursday and she was quite serious about issues I raised. She arranged me to see doctor next Tuesday to talk about the bladder prolapse. I can feel the ball in the vagina is getting lower and more obvious when showering. I hope I can keep it inside until I have the baby and then I can try to take a big rest in bed to make it better.

I saw an OB in China when DD was 9 months old and she gave me some advice this Tuesday:

1. Your PSD should be able to recover better after you have this second baby. You can try using pelvic belts or tight pants after birth. They'll help. If it's too bad you can only rely on the hospital on solutions. Three years ago we talked about fixing your pelvis and hanging it up for a couple of days. It can only done by professionals in the hospital. So do not try it at home.

2. It would be better if you have a natural birth this time.

100814 34 weeks 2 days

I've been sitting on a castored kitchen chair for cooking for over 10 weeks now. And Thursday night when I was 34 weeks DD pulled my chair away while I stood up to see my cooking. I sat down without knowing the chair wasn't there any more and sat onto the floor. It was very painful and I cried out with tears. It took me quite a while to be able to stand up.

After that I've been staying in bed, only getting up occasionally because lying in bed is too painful too. I did go to my GP to have it checked out and it seemed the bones were ok (baby ok too). But I know my already weak spine/tailbone got injured and who knows how long it would take to heal or whether it would heal. The muscle pain went away after about 2 days of resting in bed. But I know my spine is worse. It had already been painful and difficult to roll in bed and now it's a lot worse. I even feel better if I stand, walk or sit, than lying in bed. But I know I need a lot of rest before I can go back to my normal life (if I still can have one). After so many injuries and pains I know resting is the only thing I can do to help myself.

100819 35weeks

My lower back has been very painful since last week's fall. The tailbone can be sore when irritated such as pressed. The lower back pain is there all the time now, unlike a few weeks ago I could bearly feel it. I think it's partly due to my driving to work, sitting in the car for 2 hours on my working days. Although I do rest every other day the back pain is still unavoidable. Then the growing belly is putting more pressure on my lower back too. And plus the fall.

I've been trying to rest as much as I can but even lying in bed is painful. Rolling is still terribly painful too. So sometimes I prefer getting up to do something so I can move around. It's still painful but maybe a slightly different type of pain so I don't get too sick of the same pain.

I know all I've been talking about is my pelvis and lower back pain, not the pubic symphysis pain. But the physio Sue said any problem from the pelvis area can be related to the pubic symphysis so I'm recording everything here.

No matter how much pain I have, I still feel lucky I can walk around without crutches or walker or wheelchair. Sue said I will have to rely on a walker and now at 35 weeks I still don't. I feel so good to be able to take care of myself and also my family sometimes. Nothing can be worse than relying on someone else for my every day needs.

My mobility: it's been limited to from one room to another, or from my desk to toilet, or from work to car, or similar distance. if walking more will feel obvious increase of pain.

and change of my back pain. the back injury in 2006 caused my tailbone and surrounding to be painful during the whole pregnancy and 1-2 years after birth. So sitting was most terrible. But during this pregnancy my tailbone hadn't been painful (until I had the fall last week). It's the part that is above the tailbone that started to be painful and worse and worse since beginning of August. So sitting hasn't been the most terrible position. Walking, standing and lying in bed are more painful postures.

100827 36 weeks 1 day

There hasn't been much change in the last week. I think the tailbone is getting better compared to the first few days after the fall. My lower back is still painful. Rolling in bed still makes me feel like the bones are rubbing each other and I have to hold the pelvic while doing it. Sitting position is still my most preferred posture.

I did receive a call from Sue my physio on Tuesday after she came back from holidays and she said the tailbone pain can be managed by heat or swimming. Other than that there's not much I can do. She said she wouldn't be able to see me in 3 weeks (well that's what's called public hospital).

100909 38weeks

I thought I updated last week....There's not much change. I still cannot walk much, cannot stand for long, and try to sit down whenever I can. It's still difficult and painful to roll in bed. But I seem to have got used to this condition and feel there won't be any damage even if I feel pain or discomfort when rolling. It's mostly soft tissue pain. There can be bone-rubbing every time I roll in bed, probably due to a lying position and the weight of the baby. Sometimes I could feel some bones are falling down or off its position.

I've been trying to roll without my bottom leaving the bed, like sliding over, and using my hands to hold my pelvis together as tight as possible to prevent bones moving. It's more a hope than an effect really, as the bones could still move. I try to roll as slowly as possible, using pain and discomfort as guide. I guess that's how much I can do about it.

I'm usually lying on my back when I wake up, no matter what position I was in when I lied down.It's kind of strange....

In the last few days the pubic symphysis seems to get loose, coz it feels like not connected well when moving in bed, and it can be sore.

100918 39 weeks 2 days

Not much difference recently. Maybe just a bit worse. I still try to limit walking and standing. Positions like walking, standing and sitting won't make me feel too painful. But lying in bed sometimes can be worse, especially (still) when turning. Every time I roll in bed it has to be very very slow as it can be very painful, not just from pelvis, but also from legs. It seems the soft tissue in my legs are having a lot of trouble too. If I only lift one leg, I can feel a tearing sensation in the pubc area, not horribly painful but still it can hurt. Maybe I've been in too much pain and discomfort, I feel pains are not so terrible to me any more. Sometimes I have the feeling that it's just pain and won't really do any damage. So I roll in bed bearing with the pain. In fact I really have to roll, because I cannot lie on my back and I have to lie on my side. When the leg underneath feels swollen and painful I have to turn to the other side to give it some relief. Every time it's a very painful and slow process. Whenever I have to do this I wish the baby could come out soon coz when there's no baby in the belly at least I can lie on my back or even tummy.

Every time I want to stand up from a laying position I always have to test how to do it without too much pain. It's also a very slow and difficult and painful process. When I finally stand up I'll have to stablize a few seconds for all the bones and soft tissues to go into a better position for me to be able to lift the first leg, otherwise it might be impossible to lift the leg or very very painful. It's usually very hard for the first few steps.

I think it might be the bigger baby that's causing it so much more difficult for me to move. And also lack of activities could contribute too. Maybe the bones and soft tissue are not active enough to handle movements any more. But I don't seem to have better choice. I don't want to be too active to make things worse. At least I can still walk at the moment. I still don't need crutches or walkers to walk around the house.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear, I left message yesterday and it disappeared. Nothing, just wish you luck in delivery. weiwei

Rowena said...

Thanks wei. I'm sure I'll be fine. :)